|Painting by George Grie|
I’ve failed at everything I’ve tried.
Stupid. Worthless. Loser. How many times have people hurled these words like stones?
But I’m not made of glass. There’s stronger stuff below; a belief that runs right to the core.
I am destined for greater things.
My words will change the world.
Let the legions cast their venom; they do not know me.
Let the critics sneer; the joke is ultimately on them.
I know I can do this. A writer I am meant to be.
Forget about the past failures; they’ve made me who I am. The external world does not faze me; the real challenge lies deep within.
This fear. I must get over it.
What will they see when I am finally revealed? Will they give me a chance? Identify with me?
It does not matter.
They will see I am just like them.
Full of hope. Conviction. Dreams.
And that is all that matters.
I need this, I must confess.
I must find a way to make this work. Find a way to finish. Only then will they see the masterpiece underneath.
I will put myself before them. The entire tapestry, not just a shred of cloth. Myself. My whole self.
I refuse to cower. Refuse to give up.
This fear…just a fool’s errand…
Words echo inside me, fire threaded destiny. Can’t hold them back any longer.
Then I realize what’s gnawing at me.
These words, flowing so beautifully. Such emotion, raw and pure. My one talent, my only talent, please don’t let me screw this up.
I take a deep breath. Calm my mind. And ride the lightening.
This lingering fear is vapor.
I am ready for the next step.